So, this night I'm here to write a rant. Yes, You're right. A | R A N T. As if I didn't write a rant for each post on this blog, all of my posts are little and pathetic rants - just in case you didn't realise it before.
Organising my english notebook, I found a specific and unusual exercise we should have done months and months ago - which I totally forgot, of course. Therefore, I'm literally writing it just now.
And here it is, one of my masterpieces.
Write a rant you’d tell if you went to see a psychotherapist.
Why I have this obnoxious tendency to procrastinate everything? I know that I’ve talked about this topic many times before, but I’d like to know what happens in my mind. I constantly live with any kind of anxiety that could exist but at the same time there are some days in which I’m not productive at all. It does not matter if I have an important exam or if I should discuss my thesis during the graduation day at the university or If I need to buy a ticket, I’ll delay everything till the deadline is close. And it’s just when the Damocles’ sword is near to cut my head that I finish everything I need to finish.
It’s like I’m able to end something just when I must do it, and eventually I also do a great job.
Maybe my mind works in this way. When I have plenty of time to do something I end up doing it when It’s 5 minutes left and – as I said before – I do this things extremely well thanks to my anxiety that pushes me and makes me do it in a good way. But of course, this attitude will kill me inside whenever I will have the chance to get a job. Studying and working are completely different, and although I’ve developed some skills that help me learning something in a few minutes, I know that this inclination will be the end of my career.
Generally speaking, I’d like to know if there are some fears under this behaviour, because being afraid of failure but procrastinating everything at the same time is not so good for my mental health.
I know that's late, but - as some of you already know - I'm like a vampire and I tend to study in a better way during the night.
If you're reading this, thank you, you're a
I hope to be more present here and write a lot of stupid things, for your pleasure.